14 Days of Love: by Marilyn

I met Marilyn in our high school's beginning cooking class. I knew I liked her when neither she nor I could stifle our giggles during a presentation about food born illness. Later I found out that not only was she funny, but she was also a concert pianist, a talented percussionist, a literary genius, a mathematician, a scientist, a runner, and a good person. I've tried my whole life to be a good person and she mastered it by the 11th grade. Later, our paths crossed again as bridesmaids for Joel and Beth's wedding--funnest wedding line I've ever stood in. Marilyn's wit and intelligence are amazing to behold. It's really not fair that God made Marilyn so clever while the rest of us are so-so. But at least God gave us the internet so we all can enjoy her daily. Read Marilyn's musings {here} and {here}.

And of course, since Marilyn is far wittier than I, she made a slight alteration to the Love List idea. Without further ado, here are fourteen things Marilyn [would] love:

1. A hermetically sealed high chair bubble in which to put my children (image credit: Sam)

2. for it to be polite to slurp the last of one's drink with one's straw

3. to be referred to as "a fine figger of a woman"

4. to be overcome more often by sudden, incapacitating laughter

5. to have a mile-counter on my back when running, so people know why I look so tired [could be tampered with to make it appear I've run farther than I have, if necessary]

6. for this to be my backyard

7. to give anyone who sings "If I had a hammer" $12.50 so they can go down to Home Depot and get themselves a dang hammer. And then be quiet, please.

8. to engage in (unrehearsed) witty repartée, like you'd hear in an Oscar Wilde play

8a. to be able to imitate the aliens' voices in "Galaxy Quest" {like this}

9. to be required to stop someone's hysterics by giving them a good, hard smack

10. a derogatory nickname (alliterative if possible) (such as Mealy-mouthed Marilyn)

11. the ability to express useful life concepts in mathematical terms; for example:

The actual amount of cookies available to any one person is x minus the sum of d and s divided by M, where x is the amount of dough made, s is the amount of dough snatched from the bowl by hovering children, d is the amount of dough dropped and subsequently stepped on by said children, and M is number of total mouths in the household.

12. for visitors to infer Deep Symbolism from the painting Sam did for our living room

13. for the ability to write limericks to be a marketable (and lucrative) skill

14. to be the type of person about whom one says "she's too clever by half"