Thursday, February 4, 2010

14 Days of Love: by Marilyn

I met Marilyn in our high school's beginning cooking class. I knew I liked her when neither she nor I could stifle our giggles during a presentation about food born illness. Later I found out that not only was she funny, but she was also a concert pianist, a talented percussionist, a literary genius, a mathematician, a scientist, a runner, and a good person. I've tried my whole life to be a good person and she mastered it by the 11th grade. Later, our paths crossed again as bridesmaids for Joel and Beth's wedding--funnest wedding line I've ever stood in. Marilyn's wit and intelligence are amazing to behold. It's really not fair that God made Marilyn so clever while the rest of us are so-so. But at least God gave us the internet so we all can enjoy her daily. Read Marilyn's musings {here} and {here}.

And of course, since Marilyn is far wittier than I, she made a slight alteration to the Love List idea. Without further ado, here are fourteen things Marilyn [would] love:

1. A hermetically sealed high chair bubble in which to put my children (image credit: Sam)

2. for it to be polite to slurp the last of one's drink with one's straw

3. to be referred to as "a fine figger of a woman"

4. to be overcome more often by sudden, incapacitating laughter

5. to have a mile-counter on my back when running, so people know why I look so tired [could be tampered with to make it appear I've run farther than I have, if necessary]

6. for this to be my backyard

7. to give anyone who sings "If I had a hammer" $12.50 so they can go down to Home Depot and get themselves a dang hammer. And then be quiet, please.

8. to engage in (unrehearsed) witty repartée, like you'd hear in an Oscar Wilde play

8a. to be able to imitate the aliens' voices in "Galaxy Quest" {like this}

9. to be required to stop someone's hysterics by giving them a good, hard smack

10. a derogatory nickname (alliterative if possible) (such as Mealy-mouthed Marilyn)

11. the ability to express useful life concepts in mathematical terms; for example:

The actual amount of cookies available to any one person is x minus the sum of d and s divided by M, where x is the amount of dough made, s is the amount of dough snatched from the bowl by hovering children, d is the amount of dough dropped and subsequently stepped on by said children, and M is number of total mouths in the household.

12. for visitors to infer Deep Symbolism from the painting Sam did for our living room

13. for the ability to write limericks to be a marketable (and lucrative) skill

14. to be the type of person about whom one says "she's too clever by half"


EmmaP said...

Wow. You're right! I do feel so-so. Lol! Awesome list!

jwise said...

That was SO fun to read! (Keep Marilyn around for sure. She is so fun!!)

Beth said...

We watched Galaxy Quest just the other night with our kids...when we watched it we realized Poor Sigourney has her shirt ripped open for half of the movie, exposing her decolletage. I didn't really want my boys to see that...
But did you know that Marilyn likes ME? She told me so in her last email. I mean, she writes like that and is so obviously above my intelligence. Maybe it's the kind of like that you have for a cute, dumb animal. Maybe I humor in my lower-life form status.
Did you know it's her birthday today? She's like 42, although you can hardly tell.
Happy Birthday, Marilyn! You continue to amaze and entertain me after all this chrustee time.

Meridee said...

Marilyn this list was priceless. I laughed out loud over the hammer part--never liked that song. Number 4 brought back memories of inappropriate laugher attempting to be stifled. AND I'm pretty sure that you are too clever by three quarters and a fine figger of a woman, I might as well add.
And the picture is deeply symbolic: You and your daughter represented by the orange circles, you being the larger of the two, and your boys by the three blue circles basking in the yellow bar of light and knowledge supplied by Sam.

Ginna said...

It's true--we're like ropes on the goodyear blimp--Marilyn's just so dang smart.
Marilyn, can you think of a derogatory alliterative nickname for me?

{Erica} said...

Marilyn that was hillarious. It was nice to read and catch up on what you've been up to.

Best list thus far!

{Erica} said...

p.s.happy birthday...

Megan said...

Marilyn, I had no idea it was your birthday today. Wow. I must have been inspired to post on this very day. This list nearly made me wet myself. I love it.

Happy Birthday.

And Mom, wow. Your analysis of Sam's art was amazing. Who knew you could infer such symbolism. Must have been all your hanging around the art department during college.

The Willeyes said... her house!

Marilyn said...

Meridee, your inferred symbolism astounds me. It's a birthday miracle! Megan, you posting me today was a birthday miracle! Everything is wonderful!! Thank you!

Marilyn said...

By the way Meridee, you should know that I always hear "a fine figger of a woman" in my head in your husband's voice. On account of 'twas he that first read me _Great Expectations_, Pip, ol' chap. For which I am in his debt.

Marilyn said...

Wow, and here I am again! With a nickname for Ginna: perhaps "Geriatric Ginna"? What with you being 30 and all now.

Ovessi. Can I get a standing ovessi for that?

Ginna said...

That's quite good really. I'm thinking maybe
"Moth-eaten Marilyn" for you--how does that sound? Since you're OLD too now.

Miggie Do said...

I couldn't agree more. Marilyn is way to clever and all those other things.

Thanks for the list. I always smile when I read what you write!

K said...

I left a comment on your own place about this. Your list is lovely. And it is so obvious that your Barkis is willin'.

I do have to ask - you live with that Sam, and you don't get your fill of repartee?????

Marilyn said...

I found "repartee" playing Boggle one time. It was my finest hour.


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