I rarely venture out into the world with all of my children alone. But the other day I had no choice. Maggie was wearing her last diaper. And I couldn't risk waiting 4 hours for Dan to come home so I could run to the store to pick some up.
We went to Smith's and got one of those enormous carts with the car on the front. I strapped in the kids: Maggie in the little car, one baby carrier in the cart, one baby carrier latched on the seat. We were doing fine.
We got the diapers, some milk, and then some hairspray. But uh-oh Maggie found some Tinkerbell Bubble Bath that she had to have. Great. I let her pick it up and hold it while we continued shopping. Then she started ripping off the tags and opening the bottle. I took it away from her. She doesn't like baths. And she really doesn't like bubble baths. So I wasn't about to let her open the bottle so we'd have to buy it.
The sound that came out of her face at that moment was absolutely atrocious. I've never heard such a fit in my life. Never. A kind woman gave me a little smile that said hang in there, this too shall pass. I took courage, picked up the child, and made for the register pushing the grocery tank, I mean cart, ahead of me with one arm while I held the screaming Maggie with the other.
And that's when I met up with her--a woman who glared at me as I made my way down the aisle and then plugged her ears as though me and my unruly daughter were the absolute worst things that had ever happened to her in her life. If looks could kill, my carcass would have been found right there in aisle 5 near the canned pears.
Seriously? Did she think I didn't know that my kid was out of control? Did she think that giving me the death stare was going to help the situation? What was the motive in her actions? Did she want to take over? I'd have let her. I was up for ideas. Anyway, I finally got Maggie calmed down, made it through the check out, and got home. Phew.
Moral: if you ever see someone struggling with a tantrum throwing toddler, by all means glare at them. It totally helps.
Not.
17 comments:
I hear ya! I rarely let myself make eye contact with anyone in those situations. I cant deal with people's reactions to me, even if well meaning, when I am in that state of chaos. This is why I love good old walmart. I don't get death glares there very often. I feel people who go there blame wlamart and not me as much. Like they think to themselves "this is why I am never coming here again" instead of "That irresponsible women!". Walmart is the turf of lower income families...thats my family for sure. :) And I know some people say let them hold a toy while you shop...aaaaaa. whoever thought that would be a good idea never had three kids three and under! a total nightmare when I tried it! And don't get me started on Soap. It is one of my shoping enemies! They make them all kidish which is fun whatever but really then my kids are drwan to it and I can attest that it is the worst isel mess maker on earth! I cant tell you how many awkward soap all over the store moments I have had! Yeah I take the kids every where. :)I guess I am gluten for punishment. :)
BUT I can tell you that if I saw you at the store that day I'd helped you push your tank (I have a love hate relationship with those things) into your isle for you, told you that I loved your hair, that I missed seeing you, oogeled over your beautiful babies, asked when I can invade your house to chat it up and marvel at you and all your decorating cuteness, and given that lady a lovely look in her direction! ;)
that was totally uncalled for. perhaps the glare meant, "how dare you even HAVE children!" either way - unacceptable.
Don't most women know that the glare is only reserved for mothers who let their children run around the store, knockin over displays and running over other shoppers' toes with those stupid little mini-carts that always seem to have a broken wheel??? And then only *IF* the mother acts like she doesn't care! Obviously if you were holding her you cared!
If I were there, I would have given you a knowing look and probably a chuckle as if to say, "I am glad I was not the only one".
Sheesh! I mean, seriously, if women are gonna be nasty and mean they need to comply with the unspoken rules of meanness. Otherwise, they're just... well, um, mean!
hang in there! oh - and If i really were there - I would have actually offered to help! ;)
Oh honey I hear ya! It gets even better when the child pitching the fit is a handicapped boy of 7 only no one knows he's handicapped so they just think you have a rotten kid who should know better but OBVIOUSLY his mother must be a louse if her kid is throwing a temper tantrum at that age!!!!
My favorite was when I had five punks and Colin decided he did NOT want to sit in the grocery cart. This was of course after Matthew threw up in the cart in front of the meat counter. The meat guys got me a new cart and told me I didn't have to clean up the mess. They'd get someone else to do it.
I had ZERO groceries and so needed to finish shopping so we trudged along and then Colin pitched his raging fit. I had no choice but to grab him and sit with him in the cheese. Yes, I just sat down in the cheese bin while he screamed and tried to get out of my lap for I kid you not a good 1/2 hour to 45 minutes. Some of the clerks tried to help by taking my list offering to finish my shopping for me but money was tight....I didn't trust them to get me the best priced items.....so we sat and every old fart for miles felt they needed to come and goochy goochy goo my son and get him to laugh or smile......it didn't help. And neither did all of the twits who looked down the aisle and glared at me.
OY! A shopping trip I'll never forget. :D Yes, hang in there sista. This too shall pass. Just pray it's a loud quick unsmelly one and not some lingering singe your nose one.
Grr, that really makes me so mad! Aren't we suppose to share burdens? Elder Maxwell said, yes, there's opposition in all things, but we don't need to be personally responsible for providing it to others! It would have been fine without her rudeness! It speaks WAY more about her than about your mothering abilities! You're awesome for venturing out, it's really hard.
We've all experienced judgment like that from others, in our face, unapologetic and unwarranted. Let's just hope that someday soon she has the BRATTIEST, CRAPPIEST child that SHE is responsible for and that child embarrasses the HELL out of her over and over again until it is drilled into the woman's brain not to judge others' for the actions of their toddler(s).
Sorry you had a bad time. You didn't deserve it.
But at least you can from now on only offer understanding looks to mothers suffering with their own children in the grocery store.
I totally feel for you! People like that SUCK! I never have enough courage to speak up when something like that happens. It is times like that I wish I had a ton of courage to flip the lady off and call her an old biddy. Rude.
Think of it like this - you are providing her free birth control so she doesn't procreate any more mean people herself. Little does she realize that you are actually doing her a favor.
I'm sorry, that stinks when that happens! I probably would have glared back, probably not the best thing to do but it is frustrating when you can't stop the child from throwing the tantrum without giving into them. If you ever need me to take little Maggie for you when you go somewhere I'm sure Rivka would love to have a little friend over.
i'm so sorry you got to deal with one of "those" people. I had had enough one day and got a lady glaring me down so I walked right up to her and thanked her for being so understanding. Then stood there until she walked away so she could hear both of my girls scream up close and personal. Now was that Christ like...heck no...but did it feel good...sure did!
Oy. I'm totally with Beth--what she said in her comment is exactly how I feel.
We seem to always run into those people on airplanes. And no matter how well behaved Max is, somebody can find something mean to say. Like about how he kicked their seat twice. I mean seriously. They should be glad he didn't scream through the whole stinking flight!
I wonder about people like that. The thing is that everyone has either had kids, or was a kid once. How can you not be understanding, even a little? And especially those who've been through having little kids. HOW can you not feel empathy for somebody's who is obviously trying hard, and struggling.
Big jerk of a lady. I can't believe she actually plugged her ears. I wish I would've been there and I would've stuck my fingers up her nose too. :)
Well, if it's any comfort, I don't even have kids, and I've run into one or two mean people in the last week or so. So see? It's not just you. Mean people are mean to EVERYBODY. I have decided that the best way to handle them is to kick them in the shins. No. really. Or maybe follow them with your cart and clip their heels. Or - wait. I'm running out of things. Did you know that "mean" actually - well - means "stingy" as in "won't spend money." Which, I guess comes with that suspicious glare and short, nasty, economical fits of verbal expression.
Sigh. Going to bed.
AMEN! I have SO been there! I think your advice is fantastic--glaring really, really helps. It helps calm the toddler, and it gives relief and peace to the mother.
Let's just hope her face STUCK THAT WAY!
In her defense we have no idea what she had been through that day :) Maybe she had just had the same thing happen to her and she was just looking at you angerly because she was still SO upset at her kids she just sold. haha- just kidding! Megan- next time CALL- or just stop by. I have diapers AND/OR I could easily watch 3 more kids. I already feel like I run a day care over here :) Seriously- this is why the only time of day you will find me at the store is in the middle of the night when Brad is home... But man- thinking of it- I have no idea what I would do if I was in a pickle like you were in... I need to come up with a back up plan!
I seriously can't believe she plugged her ears! I love the way you wrote that post. It was as if I was right there watching the whole thing.
When that happens to me, I just try not to look at anybody. Maybe somebody has plugged their ears when it's happened to me too. Who knows. I'm glad you made it out alive.
Megs - we totally want to hang out! Sheri and I are are suffering a slow torture this weekend...aka taking our last test in optometry school EVER...in Southern California. But when we come back, we want to hang out. Seriously. If you guys are free, let's tentatively plan it for next weekend (not this coming Friday, but the next, okay?) We would love to chill with you peeps. Keep me posted.
Seriously? I want to go to that store, right now, and find that lady and beat her...she seriously plugged her ears? I think SHE needs help...seriously, i am sorry, I wish you were closer, we could trade off to go grocery shopping, heck, it might even be worth the drive!
It was probably the old witch lady who lived in my last ward and covered her ears, glared at me, and marched out of sacrament meeting when my darling baby girl cooed. Yes, you heard me, not a scream or a cry, a giggle and coo. Jerk. The people you meet, in church!
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