A. Pull out the old turntable, remove BeeGee's record, cover turn table with sandpaper, tape a ruler to the arm, and drop a small geode behind it so that as the disk spins the rock will get sanded and polished--like a rock tumbler with a turn and no tumble.
Now if there were a way to do that while simultaneously playing the BeeGee's record I would be doubly impressed. I tell ya, everybody needs to hang out with engineers. They are hilarious.