Dan's mother Vicki and brother Ryan were in the West Bountiful (yes, that is a city) parade on Saturday so we went to support. Its a small parade with only about 40 entries but its a big deal because the whole time people are throwing candy at you. Most of it is cheap taffy but, hey, it's free. We sat in full sun squinting at the floats when I noticed a girl walking along the side handing out flyers. I noticed this girl because she seemed methodical about selecting who to give the flyers to. It was only 1 per crowd. Not knowing if it was a coupon or a Miley Cyrus Stadium of Fire ticket she was handing out, I was curious. She approached my sister in law Chelsea and seemed hesitant to give it to her. But then she looked in my direction, sized me up, and thrust her flyer into my hands.
"Thanks," I said, thinking I'd won some great prize. But when I looked at the paper I was dismayed.
"Get Skinny!" it declared. Apparently Heather Hansen, a Biggest Loser contestant from West Bountiful 2 years ago was going to be teaching a class and sharing her secrets on how to lose major pounds. And I had been hand selected from the crowd to go learn how to change my life. Gee thanks. As if feeling like a beached whale on my folding chair with the sun beating down on my corpulence wasn't enough.
Later that day, as we were making our way back to Lehi we stopped at Maverick in North Salt Lake for gas. I ran in to get a drink for Dan. The cashier looked at me and said, "So, is it a boy or a girl?"
"It's actually twin boys," I said with a smile.
"I was gonna say," said the cashier, "'cause there's like a head or something stickin' out and your belly's all distorted..."
"Yeah," I said, "Have a nice day."
Needless to say I don't feel like going out much anymore.