Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Socializing, or Another Confession of Insecurity
One of the things that naturally happens when you get married and have children is that your social life takes a serious hit. It's really supposed to be that way. Otherwise, everyone would have Brittney Spears drunken-drug-addicted-I-can't-stop-partying-even-though-I-have-kids-for-Pete's-Sake parenting problems. Anyway, while one shouldn't be a party animal as a parent, it is nice to have friends.
One thing I have seriously missed since living in Bountiful is having friends. Sure, my old dear friends aren't THAT far away. Sure, I have a few friends up here and could make a lot more. Sure, its more of an imagined problem than anything else, but I've kind of felt like a loner. I'm claiming full responsibility for that. I have really let my phone-phobia take over. I even get nervous to call McKenna, my best friend of 18 years. Sometimes it just seems easier to sit at home and wish that I had friends, than it would be to get on the phone and call somebody to do lunch or have a play date. Absurd I know.
Now, the real reason for this post: I'm making some head-way. 1) Tonight Dan and I (and Maggie) were invited to have dinner with 2 other couples in our ward. We had a great time talking and laughing and sharing. One of the couples we were already friends with, but we finally got to know this other couple and they are really fun. I could see us having similar get togethers in the not distant future. 2) I called Adrianne. Adrianne is one of my dearest college friends. We had all of our classes together for a year and I would park at her house every morning so we could walk to class together and share Diet Cokes (I know, Caffeine on campus!). Adrianne and I also met at the library most nights and struggled to get our homework done because we'd be cracking so many jokes and instant messaging. But the phone phobia took over and I haven't talked to Adrianne in over a year. She's engaged now. BUT GET THIS: I called her and we're going on a double date this Friday.
Look at that! I'm social. Well, maybe not quite social...but definitely not anti-social. I even joined the book club at my school today. I guess I'm just realizing now that I have more control over my life than I've given myself credit for. I CAN be happy. I CAN have friends. I CAN feel like a real person. But of course, I'm a work in progress.