Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Socializing, or Another Confession of Insecurity

One of the things that naturally happens when you get married and have children is that your social life takes a serious hit. It's really supposed to be that way. Otherwise, everyone would have Brittney Spears drunken-drug-addicted-I-can't-stop-partying-even-though-I-have-kids-for-Pete's-Sake parenting problems. Anyway, while one shouldn't be a party animal as a parent, it is nice to have friends.

One thing I have seriously missed since living in Bountiful is having friends. Sure, my old dear friends aren't THAT far away. Sure, I have a few friends up here and could make a lot more. Sure, its more of an imagined problem than anything else, but I've kind of felt like a loner. I'm claiming full responsibility for that. I have really let my phone-phobia take over. I even get nervous to call McKenna, my best friend of 18 years. Sometimes it just seems easier to sit at home and wish that I had friends, than it would be to get on the phone and call somebody to do lunch or have a play date. Absurd I know.

Now, the real reason for this post: I'm making some head-way. 1) Tonight Dan and I (and Maggie) were invited to have dinner with 2 other couples in our ward. We had a great time talking and laughing and sharing. One of the couples we were already friends with, but we finally got to know this other couple and they are really fun. I could see us having similar get togethers in the not distant future. 2) I called Adrianne. Adrianne is one of my dearest college friends. We had all of our classes together for a year and I would park at her house every morning so we could walk to class together and share Diet Cokes (I know, Caffeine on campus!). Adrianne and I also met at the library most nights and struggled to get our homework done because we'd be cracking so many jokes and instant messaging. But the phone phobia took over and I haven't talked to Adrianne in over a year. She's engaged now. BUT GET THIS: I called her and we're going on a double date this Friday.
Look at that! I'm social. Well, maybe not quite social...but definitely not anti-social. I even joined the book club at my school today. I guess I'm just realizing now that I have more control over my life than I've given myself credit for. I CAN be happy. I CAN have friends. I CAN feel like a real person. But of course, I'm a work in progress.


tasha said...

Megs, I have started a comment to every blog entry you've written, then deleted. I have dialed half your phone number, then hung up. I have missed you lots, then sulked because we haven't spoken for eons. What a nasty cycle you are breaking, I'm proud. And inspired. Maybe I'll actually call you today.

Rochelle said...

I promise if I lived by you we would become the best of friends that I always wanted to be but never had the guts to actually work at... :)

Tiffany said...

I miss you! I'm glad you are getting out of your comfort zone-- I am trying to also! Today I went to an activity that I had talked myself out of ten times already--but I'm so glad I did! Can't wait to hang out sometime--we can still be friends right? xxxoo

Erica said...

YAY for being social. We (bret and I) totally can relate. Bret's the ONLY Vet student here in Des Moines (he commutes 45 min. away for school) and so he doesn't car pool with the other students and I don't go to the wives' club thingy thing that they have going on :D. So we decided to start having new students that move into the ward over for dinner....and boy is it fun! Sunday's are so much fun and we have friends now!!! YAY for friends! I tell you what..if we lived close to you we'd be doing everything we could think of to have you be our friends :)

Ginna said...

I know exACTly what you're talking about. And it's so hard when you move, even if it's only a hour or two away instead of 18 hrs! And it's hard if you're a busy person. I've definitely had a hard time out here because I've been so busy, and I'm stupidly shy too sometimes.
Actually this blog thing has been great, I feel closer to some of my old buddies than I have in forever, so I was just thinking yesterday that I was so glad to have FRIENDS!!!!
(hey, max and I are coming into town the week of Oct 9th we'll be there thursday, friday and part of saturday. Do you think we could see you??)

Emily said...

Megs, I have finally gotten to see your blog and though I am a newbie to the blog world I am impressed. It is so fun to have a moment in "meganess". I hope you know that anyone that meets you would adore you and not only want to be your friend but would feel better about themselves. You are so gifted at making everything a bit happier and brighter. Never second guess how wonderful you are and that you have people that think the world of you. I think so highly of you that I am totally shocked to think you feel much like me! I am now in our new "world" and I have been trying to push out all my doubts and fretting and pretend that I am very social and outgoing person. It has been nice and I think people like me. I might not have made a best friend but if someone wants to include me in their already full life I am very happy to be there for them. And more often then not I find they have been looking for me as much as I have been looking for them. Have a Beautiful Day!


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