This is Maggie not sharing with Ashlyn during a recent playdate. The stinker (Mags, not Ash).
1. Any tips for tantrums? And sharing? I swear, when I was in child development classes during college I thought I had all the answers, but somehow in practice the theory only goes so far. Maggie doesn't respond to "use your words" like 4 year olds do--she doesn't have as many words.
2. I'm thinking about wallpaper (and if you haven't heard--it's cool again, and don't panic I'm just thinking of an accent wall nothing too permanent or overwhelming). Anybody know where to find some good ones?
3. What are you having for dinner? Want to give me the recipe? Or the leftovers (just kidding about that part, I'd do with the recipe).
13 comments:
As far as the tantrums go, I have a two year old AND a four year old going through that phase right now. I use a technique called the "Strike out." It's similar to baseball that my kids get 3 strikes, you're out. If they misbehave or begin to throw a tantrum I say "strike one." If they continue to do that it's the second strike. If they get to the third, it's time out. This way works with my kids in the sense that I don't just give them a warning for time out, the strikes actually mean something against them. I also will sometimes put up their "strikes" on the whiteboard so they can see how many they have. This way is pretty effective for us. We're still working on the two year old, but even she's getting it.
The wall paper thing...I have no idea. My hubby is a "paint only" kind of guy.
For dinner, we're having baked potatoes with chili, cheese and sour cream. That's it. Simple, tasty and filling. I hope this helps. The chili I use from a can because I don't want to spend the time making it on a day like today. Haha.
We are having spaghetti.... Except with bow tie noodels, half as much spaghetti sauce, and lots of mozzarella cheese.
We got our wallpaper (there's probably a lousy picture somewhere on my blog) from Sherwin Williams. We got the easy change since we're in an apartment. I got a really bold print and just used it for one part of our living room. It's hard to explain but it worked and I'm smitten with it. I'll be sad to take it down when we move (though I won't be sad to move!!)
Thanks for your advice on Christopher! Glad to hear there are other crazy kids in the world...sometimes I wonder if mine is the only one... My pediatrician told me that with tantrums, the best thing to do (unless they are hurting/damaging themself, an object, or another person) is completely ignore them until it passes. We try to do that, though it's sometimes incredibly hard. She said if he is hurting something/someone, then he should be removed to a safe and very boring "time out" place for a brief period of time (usually 1-2 minutes for kids this young). I'm still taking all the advice I can get on all this stuff too. Isn't it amazing how CLUELESS we feel as parents sometimes?!
1) you can't always reason with children because they have not reached their age of rational thinking. That being said... I could reason with Keenan. He was "easy" though I didn't know it until I had Kadin. Kadin ended up being a "corner" kid. the time out chair was a joke. So no sharing? Great- go stand in the corner, with your nose in the corner until you can say sorry and learn to share. Throwing a tantrum? Great- go stand in the corner until you can act like a "real" boy. I think he spent his entire 2-4 year old "career" in the corner. It got so bad, all I would have to do is give him the "look" and say, "Kadin--" and he would cry himself to the corner. At the time I felt horrible. I thought that kids would end up spending his whole life in the corner. However, now he is almost 11, and it doesn't seem to have scarred him too much. He's alive at least, right? With Kienna it was crying/screaming/tantrums like you wouldn't believe. At home I would say, "You have a right to your feelings, but go and do it on your bed." I made her sit on her bed. If we were in public, I would stop everything and say, "We're going home." It was a pain to abandon my cart in the middle of the store - and yes, I felt guilty about it. BUT the next time I went to the store and she wanted to come with me, I said, "No. Not this time. The last time you threw a fit, so you get to sit this one out. I'll give you another chance the next go-round." then the next time I reminded her BEFORE we went in how she should act. I did the same thing at group play dates. It was rarely convenient and alsmot always embarrassing. However, she outgrew that phase pretty darn quickly. I guess my point is good luck...what works for one kid won't even work for another. So, try a few things out and go with what works. Oh - and when my mom would get really frustrated with my brother, she would say, "Right now I am really upset. You need to go and sit on your bed while I go and pray about this to Heavenly Father. I will ask Him what HE thinks I should do about this. And then I will do whatever He tells me to." Granted, my brother was about 5 or 6. Nevertheless, he would sit on his bed and panic at the thought of the LORD directing his punishments. AND - my mom did truly go and pray about it, because with that particular child, she felt at her wit's end and she knew if she didn't take a time out and ask for help, she'd probably have killed him.
2) - wallpaper - really? will our kids be cursing us in 20 years when they are trying to remove our "hideous" wallpaper??? hmmm... you're the google queen. I'm sure if anyone can figure it out, you can.
3) We had CROCK POT POTATO DINNER
2 lb bag frozen country potatoes (diced)
1 polska kielbasa sausage, cut up
16 oz velveeta cheese, cubed
8 oz sour cream
1/2 stick (1/4 C) butter
Mix in crock-pot. Cook on LOW 4 hours. Stir well. Salt & Pepper to taste. YUMM!!!
You can also use a couple of polish sausages or bratwursts in place of the kielbasa. so simple, and fairly cheap too.
for wallpaper, try this adorable little shop on 700 east and 1700 south-ish in SLC called (appropriately) "Walls". They've got some good, albeit pricey, stuff.
WALLPAPER: Go to the Wallies website (or maybe it's spelled a different way) and you can find fabulous murals and accents and way cute stuff. Jen might remember more about this than I do, but i used a Wallies mural that looked like the view out a castle window onto the Tuscan countryside and it's smashing. There are no windows on the north or south sides of my house and this mural really opened up the room. The kids stuff they have, and every theme imaginable, lets you get creative.
First sharing is a difficult thing for children to understand. Even at 4 ownership is the rule, not sharing.
I typically try to find another toy to distract either child, or something that engages both children. It doesn't always work.
As far as temper tantrums go, my kids know that if they start to throw them, I tell them I don't want to hear it, if they continue on with it they will go in the naughty spot. I also will try to figure out was triggers the tantrum. More often than not a tantrum can be avoided by trying to figure out what it is the child is fussing about.
Once in the naughty spot you have to keep them there until the tantrum stops. You can't just leave and let them play with things or move. If they move you have to time it all over again.
Once they stop the temper tantrum, we talk to them about why they were put in the naughty spot and that we love them very much, and give lots and lots of hugs. We also make sure there is an apology if the cause for going in the naughty spot was doing something wrong or hurting someone, or disobeying mom or dad.
I also find with my children they get more prone to temper tantrums if the following conditions exist, generally more than one
1. hungry
2. tired
3. need some nurturing attention from mom or dad.
I dont have all the answers, cause we for sure have a LONG way to go with Scoty...but what other people have told me about tantrums is to just let them have them and walk away...SO HARD...but they want attention and they think that if they throw a tantrum they get it, which is true, so if you make them stop and ask nicely, and "use their words" (haha...I know you said this doesnt work for Maggie...Scoty doesnt have many words either, but it gets him to stop and think, and then he points at what he wants, or is nicer about it) then they HOPEFULLY wont throw tantrums, again, still trying, hard, everyday to work on this...as for sharing...we had that problem SO bad, then we got the nursery manual and have been using it for FHE...well our first lesson was the Sharing one, and we just kept sharing dolls and toys with each other through the lesson, I honestly dont know what it was that worked, but ever since that lesson, when Scoty isnt sharing I say..."oh, we need to share. Remember, I WILL SHARE! (that is what the lesson tells them to say), will you please let sister play with one of the cars?" And he does it...I dont know what happened, but that lesson, it worked! Maybe this helps...maybe not....I am NOT an expert, just ask Shon. As for the recipes...check out a recipe blog I started awhile ago, there are some good recipes on there...http://recipeswap1.blogspot.com/
also there are a few other recipe blogs on my sidebar of my blog, a lot of good stuff there...aslo Kraft.com has a lot! Good luck!
Tantrums- simply tell them to go to their room till they are done- worked for Hyrum didn't work with Paul. Then Paul started sending himself to his room recently when he started to have tantrums- ok. Sharing- they wont share for a while. It's that simple. Just keep encouraging it and PRAISE like you have never praised before when they actually start. But never expect too much. As my grandma told me recently these are developmental stages they WILL GROW OUT OF and to not stress them too much. It simply isn't worth it.
Wallpaper- I did this for the first time a month ago... All I can say is good luck. We had no idea what we were doing... But it turned out great!
Dinner- we had Arbys. I think I was planning on cooking something. Then I got in a wreck and decided I didn't feel like it... I hope whatever you had was great!
Your mom knows all about these things. Joel used to throw them Ask her about the stories. Four is a little young - and Maggie is a little bundle of will. It'll take a while for things to get through - so slow and consistent is your best bet. With tantrums, you just do the supernanny thing - you choose a naughty area, you put her there as many times as it takes to stick, for as many minutes as her age. It'll kill you the first time, but it gets better, as I said, slowly.
Wallpaper - HA. Our whole house is wallpapered, and I was just thinking about how outdated we are. Then here comes hip Megs, and i'm feeling pretty good about myself now.
Hi Megan! I'm glad you found me. I had salad and a cheese sandwich for dinner but I think that's pretty uninteresting an no recipe is necessary for either of those.
So I checked out your blog and your children are beautiful. As are you. It's been a long time.
What a cute picture! Maggie is so adorable...I really felt for her that day. She's probably still trying to find her place sharing with two new baby brothers and then to ...WHAM...be thrown into the mix with four other to share and try to be patient with, I'm sure it was tough. She probably felt really out of control. I'm just glad this time it wasn't Ash (it usually ALWAYS is!). It was so much fun...even with the chaos we should do it again soon!
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