Saturday, July 19, 2008
Oh how I love my babies. I realized last Sunday after 5 straight hours of crying that I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and in need of help. The family came through. Mom ordered me to go back to the hospital (to rent a room in the maternity ward) so that I could rest and nurse my boys without driving back and forth from Lehi. I had been making 2-3 trips to the hospital each day after my release so that I could nurse the boys (the feeding schedule they had them on only let me nurse once or twice every 12 hours in between tube feedings). The constant driving and nursing left no time for rest and my stress level was through the roof! Before I went back to the hospital sister-in-law Beth brought us dinner--an amazing Mexican fiesta complete with rice, chicken tacos, horchata, flan, and limeade. With all the toppings. Holy cow. Or should I say AY CARUMBA!? Beth even offered to clean my house, but Mom had already done it with Cam's help vacuuming and Dad watering the garden to keep our meager produce alive. Mom even flushed our dear fish Cosmic Swoop Hinckley (2005-2008) who had passed on to that big fish bowl in the sky whilst we were at the hospital birthing the boys.
When I moved into the hospital Maggie stayed with her grandmas. Both Dan's mom and my mom were sweet enough to step in to love, feed, and care for my girl while I was teaching the twins how to eat. The boys picked up nursing like vultures take to wildebeest carcases. I've never seen an infant latch so fast. I almost cried for joy the first time I nursed them.
Despite their good nursing, they're just not gaining weight like the pediatrician would like them to. And they had some type of a lung infection that has cleared thanks to treatment with antibiotics. However, their lungs are still healing from it--so they can't kick the oxygen habit. Before we can take our little muffins home with us we have to get them fat(ter) and either get them off the oxygen or get them on a lower flow so that we can keep the kids hooked up to it at home.
Its slow going. Everyday I hope that Dr. Fox will tell us we can take them home. He assures me that we're getting closer, but it requires a lot of patience. I do a lot of crying. And a lot of praying. And a lot of missing Maggie. I hate that I can't be a mom to Maggie and the boys at the same time. I constantly feel guilty for not being able to be everywhere at once.
I feel blessed that I've received so much help and that so many people have told us they are praying for our boys. All of this will be over before I know it.